Sweet Love for Bad Pitches

Seasonal tie-in pitches. Ah yes. We're all prodded, poked and encouraged to make our news timely and relevant. We're creative, we're smart. Let's do some research! As your hands page through the calendar, the arrow hits you: Valentine's Day.

Why so many BAD Valentine's Day pitches? It's big business. According to the NRF, the average consumer will plunk down more than $100 on Valentine's Day, which adds up to $13.70 billion. Can I get a round of applause for marketing? We created this beast, along with our PR-savvy friends at Hallmark.**

We received several Valentine's Day pitches for consideration, but the best one hails from the Windy City. Remember the rules love birds, EDITS IN ALL CAPS AND BOLD (and some commentary in parenthesis) . We tell you why it sucks at the end.

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From: NAME ONE VIA A GENERIC-READING EMAIL
To: TV OUTLET
Subject: PLEASE BE OUR VALENTINE ! (The subject was initially all caps)
Importance: High (as in, what are you smoking?)

COMPANY NAME
COMPANY MAILING ADDRESS

COMPANY PHONE, FAX AND GENERIC-READING EMAIL
DATE

Dear Editor,
When a man is performing at his peak (which is always the case with every member of the CHIPPENDALES cast) his heart beats at 150 beats per minute.

As you are aware, CHIPPENDALES, the show culminates after 70 minutes of choreographed fireworks; which means that each member of the cast spends 10,500 heartbeats pleasing his audience every night. An aerobic sacrifice that totals 115,500 heartbeats - per cast - per show.

On Tuesday, February 14th the MEN OF CHIPPENDALES wish to dedicate the collective 115,500 beats of their hearts to you.

Deafening. Isn't it. Happy Valentines Day.

NAME ONE
&
NAME TWO
publicists to the most beautiful men on earth

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This pitch sucks because it could have been very good. But to loosely quote Jerry MacGuire, you lost me at hello.

The salutation is generic and incorrect. Assignment editors and producers work at TV stations...not editors. This email address is COMPANY NAME@ISP PROVIDER. Your email should come from your name as it speaks to credibility. And the information at the beginning is more of a letter format that makes you assume they cut and pasted it from word into the email. These are all seemingly minor details; but pitches are like resumes--one typo can kill your chances.

The real crime however, is no call to action. We have little idea what they are pitching us on. Is this a pitch for Chippendale's or the American Hearth Association? ("we have a heart on" joke withheld) Numbers have their place in a pitch, but it is beaten to death on this one. They should describe how this is a visual opportunity for the station. Talk about a crime of the heart.

XOXOXO - the Bad Pitch blog

tags: good pitch bad pitch bad pitch blog public relations media relations PR media Valentine’s Day Hallmark love

** Heartfelt Hat tip to Media Orchard.