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Celeste’s pitch is so bad, she managed to get outed using only 10 words. It was forwarded to our attention from an anonymous member of the media. ----
SUBJECT: Mailing Services are a hot trend for printers
BODY Hello!
Could you run this in your publication.
Thank,
Celeste
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We are happy to award Celeste our badge of dishonor, Slick. It’s been awhile since Slick’s visited the Bad Pitch blog – making this pitch all the more notable.
So to fully define why this pitch sucks, let’s start with the obvious.
Instructions are not a pitch: “Could you run this in your publication” whether it’s a question or a request, it comes off presumptive at best. And let’s be honest, it comes off a whole new brand of bad….so bad it was previously only available with a prescription. You get the idea. Call it what you will, but it is most certainly not a pitch.
CC Says It’s (NOT) Hot News: Celeste copied, I crap you negative, nearly 90 media outlets including The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and 15 contacts at the Providence Journal. She did not blind copy them, she let every. single, recipient. know they were being mass pitched. What better way to signal to a media outlet that this news was customized especially for them and their readers.
Attachments. wtf?! The news release was attached to the email as a .pdf file.
>rant< I could take a picture of my three-year-old’s latest Crayola-soaked homage to Thomas the Train, turn it into a .pdf file and easily pose as the agent for MoMa’s next creative genius.>/rant<
Foisting an unrequested attachment on 90 people is a bad move – no matter what size it is. And why a .pdf? The only thing a .pdf attachment seems to add to a news release is electronic stationery. If you have the option, link to the news release instead of attaching or pasting it into the body of the email.
Brevity Breeds Typos? OK, maybe not. But a closing of "Thank" instead of Thanks is all the more glaring based on the length of this email. I will not even get into the typos in the news release (below)
Bait and Switch Headline: "Mailing services are a hot trend for printers" lead me to believe Celeste is pitching a story idea in the wrong format. Then I read the news release below and realized the headline has nothing to do with the body.
When we see pitches like this, being spammed to the top three dailies in the nation, we get mad.
And if the most time-consuming portion of your next email to the media is filling out the address field, you’re mass pitch is getting ready to suck on a mass scale. Stop the send. Stop the spam. Learn from Celeste’s mistakes. Please.
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Mailing Services are a hot trend for printers
LOCATION - DATE – CLIENT, known for traditional offset printing continues to grow their business through diversification strategies. Today the company announced the opening of their new mailing and fulfillment division. The new division is fully staffed and operating with state of the art equipment in a dedicated 12,000 sq. ft area.
The complexity of the continually changing U.S. Postal Service (USPS) regulations can make any printer think twice about getting involved in offering mailing services. However, adding mailing services is a hot trend for printers right now as a value-add for customers.
“In the past, providing a one stop resource for our clients was a goal. Today it’s an achievement” says NAME, president of CLIENT. The company is now able to deliver every aspect of projects, saving their clients the hassle of coordinating multiple vendors while improving quality, turnaround times and reducing costly delays.
CLIENT is a privately owned and operated full-service FSC Certified print communications company located in CITY STATE. The companies comprehensive communication services include offset, digital and variable data printing, Personalized web sites (pURL’s), prepress, finishing, inventory, fulfillment programs and mailing services. CLIENT prides itself with a reputation of continually providing their clients with creative solutions, cutting-edge technology and a committed support staff.
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14 comments:
Oh. My. God.
***smashing my face against my keyboard***
Thanks, Celeste, for advancing the field of PR. Or should I say, "thank"?
Please say this was sent by a summer intern given no guidance at a bad firm. Please. Please?
And if so, can we do some kind of intervention?
The story makes no sense to me. Sounds like a simple grand opening pitch. Poor Celeste.
If it is the opening pitch...maybe send just a little paragraph in an e-mail with links to the company's Web site to the local paper (at least one media at a time). She might even get a centerpeice photo on the biz page!
Oh my God, that is beyond awful.
Maybe that's what she was going for...so awful it gets repeated? Maybe?
Jen
I just sent this around our office simply because I thought it was horrific. My co-worker's responses: shock and awe.
Can someone PLEASE point Celeste in the right direction?
Oh my word. I'm stunned (and have been trying without success to figure out who this is). I think I'm actually beginning to feel sorry for poor Celeste.
to elaborate on Justin P's comment....
....OMFG!
To reply to Jay's comment. I would hope that a summer intern would know better. This is intro to PR stuff, the basics.
Give her a break ... by cc-ing "The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and 15 contacts at the Providence Journal" she was just trying to spur a competitive frenzy feed over this hot news.
I expect she figured that within 15 minutes of hitting the send button, she would see this on the WSJOnline, the sites editors having been panicked into running with it immediately after having seen the NYTimes had also been "given" the story.
Whaaaaaa.....?!?!?!?
What funny timing--I seriously just got a pitch similar to this format yesterday and saw all of my beauty blog friends cc'ed in. So I hit reply all, said good morning to them and joked that we all knew we just got mass pitched. I'm pretty sure none of them will be giving that company a write up.
You know who else deserves to be outed?
Celeste's supervisor, if there is one, deserves time under the spotlight, too.
Whatever happened to mentors and teachers in this business? At least this blog is doing its part.
I'm REALLY hoping this was an intern and that it was her first day and that nobody reviewed her pitch.
wow.. I don't think my releases are all a++++++ but gosh. I had to read it a few time before I understood what it was really about.
it sounds to me like celeste was trying to stick it to her boss on this one. if you look at it that way the girl actually has a pretty good sense of humor, even if it clogged your inbox!
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