The Bad Hitler Pitch (as if there was a good one)

Sometimes, the work is done for us. Take the pitch we received from our friend Wendy at the Philly Inquirer; it was one letter Kevin and I received in a crowded week of people saying "Help us rid the world of awful letters." This bad use of gimmickry from a U.K. PR concern asks reporters to write about a new book about the trance form that some people have over the great unwashed masses. Using Adolf Hitler as the best example of trance-maker.

The only thing I got from reading it was: “Really? People still do crap like this?” But as Wendy cheerfully pointed out to the pitcher: "Using Hitler in a pitch is the equivalent of tossing a live hand grenade into a crowded room, and that rarely is there an acceptable reason to do so."

With apologies to Mel Brooks' Springtime For…, Wendy’s right on to say Hitler doesn't belong here. And you have to wince as the witless PR person tries to make us believe that somehow Hitler and Baryshnikov are related to one another in a freaky way. So without giving an undue PR to this book, here’s a snippet of what Wendy received and sent on after washing her hands:

"What do Andrea Bocelli, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Adolf Hitler and Svengali have in common? At first glance a blind Italian tenor, a Russian ballet dancer, a German dictator, and a fictional hypnotist seem to have little in common, but what they all share is an ability to transcend the ordinary and put their audiences in a trance."

Now there are more a few things wrong here. First of all…we get the evil that Svengali forced on his disciples, and we know Bocelli’s work from PBS telethons. As for Mikhail, neither his nor Hitler's footwork have much in common, and Misha's crowd will audibly concur. Trances can be made to happen but this particular author wants us (further down in the inanity) to think that Hitler struck his audiences blind with Trek-like mind melding. One fact left on the table: This was a conspiracy of the highest order and while Hitler was in charge, munching away on meth butts in his lair, there were other, less-trance-oriented men who were just as complacent in the murders of millions.

But Wendy, not sitting still, decided to write to the chief of the PR firm and explain that, as a Jewish person whose relatives hd perished in the Holocaust (same here, not incidentally), none of this was at the least interesting nor relevant. To which the CEO, who should have said “Sorry, I’m outta here,” did his best David Paterson impersonation and stupidly pressed on:

"Although considered an unskilled orator, there was something in his cadence and speaking demeanor, some experts believe, that caused this. Hitler most certainly "transcend the ordinary." Is it "ordinary" to slaughter 6 million people?"

A book about Hitler and his horrendous ways, or a new type of war tome, might have attracted this columnist, who reads her incoming pitches carefully. But Hitler as a chapter a book that (PR words) “exposes the unexpected ways trances affect our everyday lives…from getting ‘lost’ in a great book or an amazing performance to super-human acts of heroism, being in a different state of consciousness allows us to move from the ordinary to the extra-ordinary”…?” Not quite.

What’s happening in the land of PR is obvious: The tendency in a crowded media world is to find – it seems – any way to make something "unordinary". But that's a different kind of trance you put yourself in to make something unbelievable work for you!

There is no reason to be gimmick hungry and therefore cause people to disdain you. As Elvis said, "a little less conversation," eh? Just make your point and stop pulling from the absurd! Wendy put it best in her retort, which hoped to wizen up a chump:

Really? If by "the unexpected ways trances affect our everyday lives," you mean, "killed off most of my family through mob violence and systematic murder in concentration camps," then yeah, wow, that "trance" totally affected some everyday lives.”

Leave Hitler back on the History channel. We like seeing him in grainy black and white -- and dead. And leave poor Baryshnikov out of it!

Hit me on @laermer or @badpitch on Twitter.