[Guest Post by Jonathan Rick]
All we are saying is: practice deftness, not deafness!
In a recent post, Chris Brogan describes one scenario familiar to anyone not living under a well-hidden rock: “Today I sheepishly deleted several e-mails ... that were waiting for a quick response ... maybe 100 overall. So that means almost 100 people got my attention, got me to read something,” and then never heard back."
Why does this happen all the time? Brogan has a quick diagnosis that is pretty convincing: “We don’t fully understand the syntax of saying no.”
He offers a graceful example of how to construct the sentence that seems elusive to people on the receiving end of requests: “What you’re doing is important, and I’m supportive of you, but I’m not able to take on what you’d like me to do because of my own full plate of commitments.”
In other words: Thanks, but no thanks.
Amen.
Whether in business, romance or friendship, most of us would prefer the certainty of being rejected to the uncertainty and looming false hope of being ignored. To be sure, not getting a reply is a reply, just as postponing a decision is a decision mot in our favor. But there’s no getting around the fact that silence stings.
This brand of pain is a daily occurrence among people you’d think already know e-etiquette by heart: PR pros. As workday spinners we’re paid to “frame the conversation,” and help a client’s perspective prevail. So it’s pretty bemusing when we confront this challenge in our own lives and wispily shrink from it instead of viewing the opportunity ahead. After all, what better way to demonstrate our savvy and our tact?
No one likes to deliver bad news—this is unpleasant and messy. Yet it’s also the hallmark of a professional to do so. And as Brogan demonstrated, you can apologize, explain, and decline in a mere 32 words.
That in effect is the opposite of rude. That shows character.
Jonathan Rick, a well-informed, well-armed communications consultant in Arlington VA., is chief blogger at No Straw Men and tweets via @jrick
Follow Kevin and Laermer at @badpitch, dammit. And on a pleasant note: Have a nice day.
Couldn't agree more about silence being construed as being ignored. Those two letters: NO, go a long way in proving that we are not. Take the dying form of communication with an RSVP. To not, is simply rude.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found you here, Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteYour advice is great from both sides of the emailbox--as the sender and the receiver. I get so antsy when I send an email asking for information or a joint venture, and hear nothing back.
I also go out of my way to answer almost every email I receive. Sometimes, I can't use somebody's ideas, but I can suggest an even better way we can work together.
Am following you on Twitter.
I agree. As a mom and the owner of PR firm I am guilty of this but I am learning to do better from folks like yourself.
ReplyDeleteWell said! Honesty is key. Saying no is better than not responding at all. I agree that saying no shows character! Ignoring something out of fear of delivering the bad news is unprofessional. I agree with Rajean- to not RSVP is incredibly rude!
ReplyDeleteAs a student currently in a public relations program this is excellent advice. I have often sent out emails or made phone calls with no reply that cause me to wait in anticipation that they may contact me. Especially in a time such as this where so many things such as applying for jobs are done over the internet, one can never be positive that their email or document actually made arrived at the proper destination. A simple response saying no would at least let me know that my email did get to them, and they did take the time to look it over. Saying no says much more about a person, than not taking the time to reply.
ReplyDelete