A Bad LinkedIn Pitch Has Tips for You

LinkedIn has evolved from an online resume database to a social network, ad network and publishing platform. And in doing so, its potential as a media relations tool has increased exponentially.

As members since back in the day, we've always been fans of LinkedIn. Yes, we've even received good pitches through this site.

But any tool with the potential to help someone usually comes with the potential for its misuse. Which leads me to this pitch from a second degree connection.

To help make my point, I'm including the first and last paragraphs. For each paragraph in between, I'm only including the first word...and summarizing the rest in my own words.

>>>>
Subject: A Resource

I'd like you to know who I am and, potentially, to view me as a resource.
I.....have a diverse, but relevant background.
I..... want you to consider me for work.
I've...got lots of relevant experience.
I...want you to visit my web site.

Sincerely, My Name
My Company
My Location
My Contact Info
>>>>

It's All About WHO?
My first boss taught me that a pitch should focus on the audience, the recipient or both....but not on you or the topic you're pitching. This is not Zen, bumper sticker bullshit. It's about writing subtleties.

It's the difference between:
"Your readers will be interested in learning about an online industry resource that can help them improve their media relations skills."

and

"The Bad Pitch blog pwns. Everyone knows we rock. Do you want to about us?"

A Simple Test
Take your last pitch and see how many times you reference yourself or your client and compare it to how many times you reference the recipient or his audience.

My boss conditioned me to rewrite any sentence starting with "I" and to never, ever start a paragraph this way. In fact, the second and fourth paragraphs of this article were rewritten to avoid my now more than 20 year old pet peeve. And to start the first sentence of the first paragraph of an article, email or document this way? It's pure heresy. 

Now re-read the above bad pitch and imagine my reaction. I'll spare you the visual, but it was physical.

LinkedIn's Dangerous Context
LinkedIn can quickly shift from helping someone to hurting them. This is because, as a business platform, context is already established. Many of us, understandably, assume we can skip the traditional formalities as a result. But we should never assume. Instead we should always make it about someone other than ourselves.

:: Kevin Dugan, @prblog